God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called….
This simple phrase can be found tightly wound throughout Jacob Roberts (20, Sabine Creek #11) life and personal testimony. In Roberts’ opinion, God has definitely called him into the music industry and has been equipping him for His purpose after since he answered the call.
Servant leaders can come from any walks of life. If anything has been learned from the ways of God, he strives in calling those to lead, that would not normally consider themselves leaders in the first place.
Overcoming His Past
Starting out, Roberts would say that he had an undesirable childhood. At an early age, Roberts’ found his youth saturated with sexual abuse, physical assault and abandonment.
“I heard from a psychiatrist that after you are 4 or 5 [years old] your personality is already decided; I had a pretty crazy 4-5 first years.”
Without a supportive male father figure and stable home lifestyle, Roberts’ found himself feeling hopelessness and even contemplated suicide before he had graduated elementary school.
“I was 5 or 6 [years old and] I was sitting looking up at the sky and thought ‘what would it feel like not to exist, not to be anything at all’. I couldn’t even imagine it, but I already knew what it felt like not to exist,” said Roberts.
As a middle child, Roberts found himself always competing for attention from his mother. In an attempt to be noticed for something, anything, Roberts turned to drugs.
“I started using drugs when I was 10 or 11 years old,” said Roberts, “I don’t really know why, I just wanted to. I just wanted to feel different because maybe if I was different, I would get noticed for something.”
“As far as drug issues, I started out doing pot in 7th grade. By 9th I was doing Xanax. My friend started popping pills, so next thing I know I am popping 30 – 40 pills just to get a high because my mom is drug testing me. I was doing Xanax [and] Hydrocodine… it got the point where I was doing everything…it’d be easier for me to tell you what I haven’t done, said Roberts.”
The Turning Point
The turning point happened for Roberts the last time that he did hard drugs and overdosed.
“Nobody cared about me, so I never knew to care about myself….I smoked PCP with my friend…it’s an embalming fluid. I get home and I think…I’m going to die. I smoked something that people put in people after they die to dry them up, said Roberts, “Next thing I know – God is in my head [saying] ‘you are about to die’ repetitive, non-stop. I finally close my eyes. Everything around me is pitch black. For me, that was my representation of complete absence of God.”
Roberts feels that most recent spiritual manifestation to be his last wakeup call from God. If he had not stopped using hard drugs such as PCP, he has no idea if he would even be alive today.
The Tres Dias Weekend
“I go to Tres Dias and I get to Saturday…[and]I lift my head and I start bawling and laughing, but for the first time…I didn’t think tears of joy were possible. I [told the guys] afterwards that [event] was the first time in my 20 years that I actually felt love. Those other times people have told me that they loved me, didn’t matter who it was [it] was just words that didn’t amount to anything to me…not until then did I actually really feel love. “
Roberts has continued to return and serve on weekends. He has attended 3 weekends even before his 21st birthday and was able to serve at KCTD #2.
“Each time [I attend Tres Dias] I get a lot out of it. As a candidate it opened me up and when I got to serve, I got to allow other people to be transparent.”
About Roberts’ Music
Roberts knew he had a call on his life one day sitting at church as a child. But it wasn’t until Roberts hit the lowest in his depression that he began asking God to give him insight on how to get out of his cycle of despair.
“I was so sad all the time, I asked God why am I so sad. I am doing drugs, I am hating everything I am doing why am I so sad and He came down to me and told me ‘because you know what you are supposed to be doing, but you are not doing it right now…if you want to be rid of this depression, then do what I ask of you’”.
Since then Roberts has released his first album – 8 Tracks and has received international attention from his music.
Click here for links to Roberts’ music.
“Most of the time, I am praying before I even write…‘Allow me to be a vessel’. None of this comes from me,” said Roberts, “I never want to take the glory for it. Yes, I am here, I am writing it, but it [is from God]. Everything has been easy for me, because it is not me.”
Even through Roberts’ continued trials and tribulations he still works to give glory and find his continued strength in God. Roberts feels that not only is God using him as a tool to promote his music, but also uses him to speak life into others that have dealt with drugs, assault, robbery and sexual abuse.
“Everything that has happened to me, I used to blame God for it, now it gives me a beautiful testimony.”
